Faded Lillies
by Aussiejade
Summary: Another story featuring Dereks younger sister Lily.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay - I'm back on Lily, Derek's younger sister. Hope you remember her. If there is anything important I need to remind you of I will, eg. Derek calls his sister Mush after the Fat Albert character Mush mouth because as a child she babbled. Lily is an author, whos first novel was made into a film... hmm, can't think of anything else.  
I will try to update at least once a week but I have a 10 week old baby so won't promise. **

**I don't own em... if only**

Derek scanned the area around him, his eyes searching for his wife's face.

He looked down at his son, sleeping peacefully in his arms, oblivious to the chaotic surroundings of the hospital floor.

"Can I help you Dr. Shepherd?" A nurse asked.

"I'm looking for my wife" He replied.

"She's just finishing in OR 2, I'll tell her you're both here" The nurse replied before leaving the desk area.

Derek walked to a nearby chair and sat down. It was his day off and he was spending it with his six month old son, Thomas. He looked forward to these days, relished them in fact. He loved watching his son sleep, he loved watching him eat, he loved just about everything that Thomas did. He could hardly remember life before him.

But it was hard work for the new parents. Meredith had needed to return to work sooner than she had liked in order to keep her place in the surgical program so they had hired a nanny. It wasn't an option they loved, but it seemed to be working out for them.

But today was Derek's day with his son.

"Hey, there's my boys" Meredith peeked around the corner before taking the steps to her husband's side. He stood quickly and they shared a long soft kiss, having not seen each other for 24 hours. As soon as she pulled away she leant down to kiss Thomas, trying not to wake him.

"God I hate being on call, it's like he doubles in size when I'm gone for 24 hours" She moaned sadly.

Derek rubbed her back gently.

"It won't be forever" He tried to o sympathize.

"Yeah and he won't be like this forever" She sighed.

She stood silently for a moment stroking Thomas's face.

"I miss him"

"I know"

Meredith looked up at Derek.

"Did you call Lily?"

Derek suddenly remembered the message Meredith had left him to call his sister.

He shook his head.

"Derek" She lightly scolded him.

"That's like, the 5th time she's called"

"I'll call tonight" He promised.

"Do you want to grab some coffee?" He brushed away some hair from her eyes and she smiled meekly, leaning her head down into his hand and closing her eyes from the exhaustion.

"Hmmm" She said agreeing as Derek's pager sounded.

He took it from his belt clip.

"The chief" He stated as Meredith's sounded too.

She looked at hers, then at her husband and pulled a face.

"The Chief" She said.

He shrugged his shoulders.

"You want me to take him" Derek asked knowing she was tired.

"No way" She smiled bundling Thomas up and holding him tightly they walked to the Chiefs office quietly.

As they approached his office they could see him standing talking to a tall brunette through the glass doors. She turned slightly and instantly Derek could recognize her.

"Lily" He said, both excited and surprised.

Quickening their pace Derek walked through Richards's door.

"Lil" He said and his sister turned to face him with tears in her eyes.

She sniffed quickly.

"Hey big brother" She forced a smile.

"You don't have time to call me anymore?" She asked and he walked to her and embraced her.

"Mush! What's wrong?

She pulled back and looked into her brother's eyes, a sense of relief filling her.

"Oh Derek" Was all she could manage before the tears began to flow again.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Now I had previously named all Derek's sisters but we now know that two of them are Nancy and Kathleen, so for creative purposes the other one (who for me is the one directly older than Derek) is Audrey. Oh and in my story Derek's Dad is still alive… for now.**_

Now in the cafeteria, Derek sat across from Lily who was nursing a coffee. Meredith was feeding Thomas his bottle beside him.

"Lily… you need to tell me what's wrong?" Derek said, worried that her tumor had returned.

Lily sipped at her drink and steady her breathe.

"Lily" Derek said more forcefully. Meredith leant over and placed her hand on her husbands.

Lily's eyes snapped up to her brother.

"Sam said I should fly out straight away"  
"Sam? Who's she"

Lily rolled her eyes.

"I've told you this Derek… you don't listen"  
"I do listen"  
"No. You used to listen… but you're busy now, you've got your own life, I get that"

Derek sat shaking his head. Lily was rambling.

"Sam… is a he. He's my boyfriend"

"Your boyfriend… when did you get a boyfriend".

"I met him after I left here when I was here for Thomas's birth… remember I went to Boston for the book signing I couldn't get out of".

Derek nodded.

"He's a lecturer there, in Literature, he asked me to speak to his class…. Anyway… you know how the rest goes, I moved there about a month later" Lily said.

"You moved to Boston, You live in Boston?" Derek was sure Lily hadn't told him any of this.

"I'm based there, yes… I've told you this already…" Lily sighed. Since Thomas had been born Lily had spoken to her brother less and less. He was busy. Meredith was busy… they had their own life and Lily understood that, but she had made contact when she had decided to base herself in Boston. They always checked in.

"What does this have to do with why you're here Lil?" Derek was getting impatient.

"I'm getting to that" She ran her hand through her hair in frustration.

"Dad's been coming to Boston every 3 weeks or so to see me… well I thought it was to see me, which is strange, right?" Lily looked at Derek with questioning eyes. She had always felt a distance between herself and her father.

Derek squinted his eyes slightly as if contemplating the question.

"Anyway, there would always be some other reason, a medical conference… which is normal, a case consult, perhaps, but he's always have lunch with me too" Lily paused to rub her eyes.

"It's been 5 visits in 3 months… and call me cynical but I started to wander if he was coming for something else… or maybe someone else" Lily looked at her brother pensively as Meredith's grip on his hand became a bit stronger.

"Someone else" Derek repeated his mind racing.

"I followed him" Lily said quickly almost embarrassed.

"You followed Dad?" Derek asked.

Lily nodded.

Meredith's pager went off.

"I gotta go… fill me in" She kissed Derek's lips quickly, passing Thomas to Lily.

"I followed him last week when he came to visit, back to a hospital… which is normal, and I felt better… but I still got out" Lily's voice was quickening as she tried to explain.

"I followed him to oncology and I thought I took a wrong turn… a nurse asked if she could help, I must have looked lost and I asked for Dr. Shepherd thinking he must be seeing a patient.." Lily stopped.

"Lily?" Derek's concern was growing.

"The nurse looked at me and said Thomas Shepherd, when I said yes, she asked if I was a relative, I said I was his daughter and she said she was pleased" Lily shifted Thomas as he squirmed in her lap.

"She led me to a curtain, then she pulled it back and there was Dad"

"What?" Derek was confused.

"Dad had cancer Derek… he's been going to Boston for chemo, Mom doesn't know"

Derek looked at Lily in disbelief and she nodded, tears spilling over again.


	3. Chapter 3

The siblings sat in silence. Lily dabbed at her eyes with a serviette and shifted Thomas in her arms.

Derek sighed.

Lily looked up immediately sensing the tension.

"Can I have my son back" He stretched his arms out toward Thomas and Lily tilted her head wandering at his hostility.

"Are you angry?" She asked.

"Why are you telling me this?" Derek stood, ignoring her question and took Thomas from her.

"Why am I telling you our father has cancer?" She asked sarcastically.

"Why are you telling me Lily, why me?" He looked at her frustrated.

"I don't understand"

"Does Mom know?"  
Lily shook her head.

"Don't you think you should be telling her then?" Derek buckled Thomas into the stroller.

"He made me promise not too… He wants to tell her, he said he was hoping to get better… but…."

"Then why are you telling me, I'm sure he didn't want you too" Derek was getting annoyed.

Lily stood up.

"I thought you might know what to do"  
"Big surprise there" He huffed starting to walk away.

"Derek" Lily called after.

He stopped and turned to look at her.

"Why are you angry with me? I thought you'd want to know"

"Lily, this is so typical of you"

"What do you mean" Lily asked offended at his tone, but unsure of his point.

"This" Derek gestured to her.

"You blow in to town… in to my town and everything is a mess… and… and you expect me to fix it… to save you"

Lily was stunned. She stepped closer not wanting to yell at him and cause a scene.

"Save me… this isn't about me"  
"But it is… you're making it about you. You shouldn't be telling me this"  
"I know it's a shock Derek…"  
"No, it's not about that…. It's you" Derek shook his head in frustration.

"I can not fix your problems… if you think Mom should know tell her…"

"Of course she should know, everyone should… and what do you mean fix my problems… what problems"

"Every problem you've had in your life, every battle I have fought for you" Derek said mentally listing the problems in his head.

"This is ridiculous" Lily was alarmed by Derek's reaction.

"Oh what Lily, don't like what you're going to hear so you'll leave right?" Derek said nastily.

"I think you need to calm down, absorb the news… this isn't about me… I just thought you could…"

"Help, save the day? What? What Lily?" Derek looked up and saw Addison standing in the doorway of the cafeteria, looking on at their heated conversation.

Lily looked over her shoulders. Addison gave her a small nod.

"I have my own life to worry about Lily" Derek said, pushing the stroller past her and walking off. Lily looked at the floor, overwhelmed by Derek's reaction.

"Hey Lily… you okay?" Addison came up to her, lightly touching her arm.

Lily looked at her blankly.

"I wasn't sure how we ended last time" Addison said referring to the disagreement they had had the last time Lily was in Seattle.

Lily looked away still stunned by Derek's harsh tone.

"We're okay Addie" She said in a quiet tone then Addison drew her into a supportive hug and Lily let the tears flow for the umpteenth time this week.

Instantly she knew something was wrong.

Meredith had been paged by the Nazi and was standing waiting for labs when she looked up, as if sensing him exiting the elevator, to see her husband heading towards him.

Without words she was drawn to him. Walking, as if in slow motion the sound around them fading.

She stood before him; he took her hand and led her to a nearby lounge. Still no words, but Meredith knew that his world had stopped. That something serious had happened.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and he chocked on a sob.

She placed her hands on either side of his face, holding it gently she stretched her neck up to kiss his lips, reawakening them and allowing him to speak.

He looked down at her.

"It's my Dad" He said softly and Meredith hugged him again.

"I have to go Addie" Lily walked briskly.

"You should stay, you should find Derek, you two work these things out all the time"

Lily shook her head. Addie had taken her aside and allowing her to get herself together.

"Sam is waiting" Lily continued to walk, looking in a compact as she did.

"Sam?" Addie repeated.

"My boyfriend" lily stopped at the door.

"It was great seeing you Addison" She forced a smile to hide her pain, straightening her skirt as she did.

"You need to see Derek" Addie said. Try as she may, she still cared about all of the Shepherds.

Lily shook her head.

"No, he made it clear that I have to work things out, I gave Daddy till the end of the week to talk to Mom… I think she should know… she should know shouldn't she?" Lily was not used to questioning her father's decisions. She didn't understand why he had kept it a secret from everyone.

Addison nodded.

"I would want to know if it was my husband"

Lily looked at her watch.

"I have to go... Sam is at the hotel, and we were going to stay longer, till tomorrow, but I think I'll leave now"

"He's just hurting Lily"

"Quit defending him Addie, surely a divorce allows you to stop defending him" Lily sighed as she fished through her purse and pulled out some money.

"There's a cab" Lily turned to Addie and once again forced a smile.

"I'm fine… but if you see that jerk ex husband of yours tell him I'm devastated… no better not he might think he has to save me" lily made air quotes and pulled a face.

Addison let out a small laugh.

"So now he's my ex husband… no longer your brother"

"Not today" Lily kissed Addie's cheek and hopped into the cab.

Addie watched as the taxi drove away, shaking her head in frustration at both Derek and Lily and their stupid pride.


	4. Chapter 4

"**I just have go sign this discharge, then I'm off" Meredith stood and stretched her arms.**

**She was relieved her shift was ending not only because she felt so tired, but also because she knew her husband needed her.**

"**Okay" Derek mumbled.**

"**Derek you need to find Lily" She said.**

**Derek shook his head.**

"**Lily is the last thing on my mind" He replied, looking up to meet Meredith's concerned eyes.**

"**Hmmm hmm, you keep telling yourself that and you just might fall for it… I know it's your Dad and the fight with Lily bothering you" She said as her pager beeped.**

"**I gotta go honey" She said, kissing both her boys and spinning on her heel.**

"**Lobby in 15 minutes" She called over her shoulders.**

**Derek looked at the sleeping Thomas and thought how lucky he was.**

**No concerns, no worries… no sisters. All he needed to consider was when he'd get his diaper changed and his next bottle… and not necessarily in that order.**

"**Penny for your thoughts" **

**Derek looked up to see Addison standing in the lounge area doorway.**

**He half smiled.**

"**I saw Lily"**

"**Oh yeah" Derek stood up and began to hook Thomas's diaper bag on his stroller.**

"**And what sob story did she spin for you… the benefits of having a writer for a sister is the great stories" Derek said, a little too calmly.**

"**Derek, you can't be someone's savior all their life and then suddenly pull out their safety net…. It's not fair"  
"Addie" Derek looked at her.**

"**Tell me how this is any of your business" His eyes were cold and Addie took a second to recover from the sting in his voice.**

"**Ahhh there's the Derek I know, lashing out to anyone who tries to help when his down… perhaps you'd prefer I kick you rather than help you up…. But that's more your style" She retorted.**

**The two stood and stared at each other for a moment.**

"**No I'd prefer you leave me alone" Derek started to leave and Addie sighed.**

"**And wasn't it you who always told me I did too much for her… I had to let her fend for herself… because I'm sure it was Addie, it was one of our issues… one of the many" Derek stopped to look at her.  
"That's right Derek, get nasty, you'll feel better" Addison crossed her arms and rolled her eyes at Derek's antics. Why was it that men always had to fight dirty, she wandered.**

"**I'm just saying Addison you should be happy – this is me admitting you were right… I'm sick of looking out for Lily"**

"**I never said you needed to bail on her… it's called baby steps Derek, not just a flying leap where someone whose world has been devastated… as yours and her has… is suddenly left alone" Addison argued back.**

"**Stay out of it Addison" Derek didn't like what she was saying.**

"**Fine! This is me…. Staying out of it" She turned around and started to walk away, pausing as an after thought.**

"**Lily is leaving… she's flying out today… make amends" Addison finished before walking away again.**

**Meredith could see Derek as soon as she exited the elevator. He always sat on the same seat in the Lobby, one of his strange habits.**

**He was on the phone and looked annoyed but his eyes softened when he saw her.**

**She picked Thomas up from the pram and listed to Derek's conversation.**

"**That's the earliest flight… ok… ok, thanks I'll call back, I just need to talk to my wife" he said, hanging up.**

"**New York?" She asked.**

**He nodded.**

"**I spoke to Richard and he cleared it… I also said you might come…"**

"**Of course" She said wanting to be supportive.**

"**He'll only give you 3 days… so you might have to come home early"**

**She nodded.**

"**Have you called Lily?"**

"**I'll see her in New York" Derek said redialing the airline.**

"**Thanks Dr. Shepherd" Laura, The Shepherd's Nanny said at the airport. No Matter how many times they insisted she call them by their first name, the polite 20 year old Australian Nanny refused. **

"**It's respect" She said and they smiled, Amused by her manners.**

**She gave Thomas a kiss on the cheek at the Airport as Meredith held him.**

"**Be good for Mommy and Daddy" She said.**

"**Enjoy your time off Laura, I'll let you know when I'm coming home" Meredith smiled at Laura.**

"**Safe travels' Laura said before turning and walking back through the crowds.**

"**Did you call and let them know you were coming?" Meredith asked. It had been a whirlwind to get ready for the flight, Meredith's shift had only ended four and a half hours earlier.**

"**It'll be a surprise" He replied as his wife yawned.**

**He leant in and kissed her head, taking Thomas from her arms.**

"**I'm sorry Baby, you must be exhausted, thanks for coming"  
She rolled her eyes.**

"**Where else would I be?" She asked.**

**Derek's eyes wandered, Meredith turned to see Lily staring back at Derek. Just then, a Tall rugged man with sandy blond longish hair came up beside her and placed his hand softly on her back, whispering in her ear.**

**Lily responded and the man looked over to Derek and Meredith.**

**Derek looked away, Meredith smiled.**

**Lily waved back slightly to her and then steered the man, obviously her new boyfriend in the opposite direction.**

"**Ping"**

**Meredith unlocked her seatbelt as the sign flashed off on the airplane.**

**She moved the sleeping Thomas to Derek, spinning around to hop up on her knees.**

**Rather awkwardly Lily and her boyfriend had sat behind them on the plane. Derek had tried to ignore them, placing his headphones on straight away.**

"**Hi" Meredith popped her head over the seat. Lily, sipping a glass of wine, wiped at her mouth, surprised.**

"**I'm Meredith" She extended her hand.**

"**Sam" he smiled warmly, and shook her hand.**

**He was tanned, with sandy blonde, longish hair. His cheeks dimpled through his day old stubble when he smiled.**

"**So… what do you do Sam" Meredith tried to fill the silence.**

"**I'm a lecturer… film and literature" He replied.**

"**Interesting" Meredith said genuinely.**

"**That's how you met?" She looked from Sam to lily.**

**Lily nodded.**

"**I went in to talk to his class and…"  
"And I asked for more than another book signing" He finished her sentence and they shared a smile.**

**Meredith noticed as he slid his hand to hers and gently squeezed it. She noticed Lily's body language lift as he did.**

**It was like Meredith faded away, ten Sam looked back to her.**

"**And you're a surgeon, I've heard a lot about medicine since being with Lily – very impressive"**

**Meredith smiled.**

"**Are you staying at your folks?" She looked to Lily.**

"**No, a hotel… "She said softly.**

**Meredith smiled at her, knowing the feud with Derek was eating away at her. Their bond was strong and Meredith knew it was troubling the both. But as strong as it was, their pride was stronger and neither would apologize.**

"**I look forward to getting to know you Sam" Meredith smiled.**

"**Yeah me too" His mouth curled up into another smile.**

**Meredith turned back around and sat down. She leant over, lifted Derek's headphones and whispered. **

"**He seems really nice"**

**Derek just nodded pretending not to care.**

"**You have to talk to her" Meredith said, waiting for their bags on the carousel.**

"**We should share a cab" Derek screwed up his nose.**

"**Why not ask them to share a ride" Sam said lifting Lily's bag up.**

**She shook her head, giving him an annoyed look.**

"**I don't get you two – pig headed is obviously a family trait… maybe we should isolate the gene" Meredith teased, setting up Thomas's stroller.**

"**So what's the story with you two… you just going to ignore each other"  
"Ignorance is bliss" Lily said beginning to walk through the crowd.**

"**Pig headedness is not becoming" Sam responded.**

"**I'm sick of bailing her out, is all" Derek said as they began to walk.**

"**So don't bail her out… but if you ask me she was just looking for some brotherly advice"**

"**I'm sick of his self righteous, holier than thou attitude" Lily said, dodging a person moving the opposite way.**

"**So you'll just ignore him?"**

"**If I'm lucky… I've refined that skill with my sisters"**

"**if you're not careful you might just ignore them away Lily," Sam replied, and Lily stopped in her tracks and looked at him.**

"**What does that mean?"**

"**I just would think with your father sick… you'd be more forgiving" Meredith was frustrated by Derek ignoring her concern.**

"**What are you trying to say Meredith" He walked a little faster.**

"**You know what that means Lily" Sam stared back at him. He put out his hand to hers.**

"**Don't ignore people away" He pulled her in to his arms and embraced her.**

"**I'm trying to say… maybe it's not Lily that makes you angry… maybe it's actually the situation… the powerlessness of it all" He looked at her sideways, she looked back, then he gave her a small smile, marveling at just how well she knew him.**


End file.
